How to be a good listener!

To listen to someone is a tough job and if the person happens to be really boring then it will be like thinking of getting yourself out of that place. What happens if that boring person happens to be your boss or your subordinate. Here are some tips to create a patience in you.



How to be a good listener

Love your life!

Why we blame others.

Sometimes I have a very bad habit of blaming others for the faults which I have committed. This will create bad consequences if the blaming happens with the close friends or family. Found a good article though and thought of sharing.

Why we blame others

Are you a believer of luck or you?

When I think about luck, the incidents which came across my mind are my college days. I have to say some funny incidents on the believers of the luck. This guy has the habit of believing in luck when it comes to exams. No matter what, how he studied he will think that only the luck is the final decider. On the day of exams he will wear a new dress, shoes, take a newly bought pen and go for exams. If he happens to write that exam neatly, then he wore those same clothes and used to carry the same pen no matter what the clothes look like (even it got dirt after falling into a mud the previous day) or the pen doesn't write at all for the forthcoming exams. This routine will happen until he settles with a pen and cloth combination.

After seeing this habit, his room mate too started believing in superstitions and he became a follower. In one of the crucial interview, his room mate took my file and he cleared that interview and after that he didn't turn up to return the file even after several months. I thought it won't be good to ask because he is a good friend of mine. But anyway one day finally had to because I had to. I asked him about the file, he said that this file is very lucky and told ONLY because of this file he cleared that interview (the earlier couple of interviews which he attended he didn't get through as he was carrying the file which he bought and he became so upset that finally became this much superstitious).

Where are these guys goin? Do they have belief in their potential or they are trying to pass the buck on others when they do something really bad. In one way it is good to be like that coz when negative things happen they will blame on others/things and they will back normally quickly compared to those people who will try to analyze where it went wrong and what they have to do to get things rectify even for the simplest and silliest issues and finally getting no clue from where they have started.

So you might now think what I'm trying to say is, don't be silly on everything. Be a believer in yourself and be a narcissist to some extent after all if you dont love yourself who else gonna be. Have some kind of belief that there are some external forces which influences us and not fully. Also try to find out how to make these forces good for you and don't be too much idiotic.

Interesting Article to share with : How To Make Your Own Luck


I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

Is it right to Pinpoint the mistakes done by others.

Suppose your wife or kid or friend or colleague or subordinate does a mistake and you are very sure that this mistake needs to be pinpointed to them and make them realise that it is a mistake, will you directly go and pinpoint to them. If yes then you are wrong coz they might feel low in those circumstances coz they might have done inadvertently or they dont know that it is a mistake at all. So in such cases you might ask what is best way to realise that they have committed a mistake. Solution : Make them realise by setting yourself as a role model in the long run or tell to them in such a way that they has to realise their mistake as well as dont get hurt.

Let me tell you a story. In the OLD myth, Sridevi and Moodevi were fighting with each other to know Who is beautiful in this world. At that time NARATHA came through the way so they both asked him to give a verdict. Naratha got perplexed and he sweated coz he has been put up in a difficult situation. If he tells Sridevi is beautiful then Moodevi will stay in his house and give problems whereas if he tells Moodevi is beautiful then Sridevi will go away from his house. So he thought for a while and asked both of them to walk for a while.

Now he gave the following verdict : Sridevi looks very beautiful when she arrives whereas Moodevi looks beautiful when she goes away. Both of them got convinced with this reply and went away with Joy.

In this story who has won, a. Sridevi - No b. Moodevi - No. It is actually Naradha coz of his wise reply.

I explained to this to my friend and he tried this mantra at home. He came and told me this "My wife doesnt wash the clothes or clean the house so i set myself as a role model washed the clothes and cleaned the house for a week. The following week my wife came and told me happily "i dont know these years that you are a best dhobi and housekeeper so the forthcomin years also please continue". What i have to do now."

Count on your Enemies!

On birthday of Abimanyu's wife, he bought a gift for his wife and presented to her. The uniqueness of the gift is that it will tell which person/ thing is there in the person's mind. When abimanyu's wife looked into the present it showed Abimanyu coz she always think about him. At that time Balarama came and enquired whether he can check whats in his mind, it showed a battalion of army with he himself marchin in the front. Everyone was busy checkin what is in their mind but Krishna remained silent and not getting involved in this act. So Abimanyu tried Krishna and enquired him y not he. For that Krishna told if you people come to know who is the person in my mind always then you all will astonish. But people still persisted to show him. Finally Krishna agreed and sat infront of the gift, the gift shows the face of SHAKUNI. Everyone asked y him, for that Krishna told the following " you all people will think about me only when there is something good or bad happens in my life whereas SHAKUNI will always think about me on how to destroy me thats y he comes first".
"So count on your enemies you will become famous very quick."
Disclaimer: Not very sure whether this incident really happened in Mahabharatha, it was told by my friend and found to be interesting so posted this.

Hate the sin, Love the sinner

Mahatma Gandhi

What is good?? What is bad??

Sometimes in life you have come across a situation wherein you dont know whether you are doing the good thing or bad thing.
It just arose me a question what is really good and what is bad...
To me in general there are no such things called good or bad.......infact, we have defined something as good, and something as bad........
what is natural?...had killing been so bad, why would nature itself be killing so many lives, and that too, with extreme of cruelty!!
but in the begining of society, we humans had to define something as good and something as bad, in order to maintain the similarity and to bound us in some rules, which is the essential factor for society.......then, after several centuries of practice, we considered them as "eternal good" and "eternal bad", that is called morality......
if i come to spirituality, then it had been said many times that, SINS lie in our mind.....nothing is real, the truth is emptiness......if i observe neutrally, if i be just witness of my acts, within a minute i'll come to know that, even "I" does not exist, even ego doesn't exist, how can other beliefs be real!!....

whatever we are doing in general life, we are unconscious, we are sleeping.......whether am praying, or am killing, am unconscious about the manifest truth!!...am unconscious coz i think am doing, and the reality is, it is being done!!....it is just happening to me, i m not doing....but, even if we hear and believe it, we never feel it...thats y we are unconscious....and if i am unconscious, whatever iam doing is a sin (as taoism says)....
meditate, .....these silly questions will be disappeared very soon

Being Spiritual Vs Being Religious

Recently I was going through the one of the person's profile in one of the community sites and I was struck by the word "Spiritual but not religious" in the religion column. I was pretty amazed by that and thinking how the person becomes religious and what makes him to pray to different gods eventhough the soul is only one. I was busy searching for answers and got some interesting facts abt that which i thought i would like to share.
Spirituality is, in a narrow sense, a concern with matters of the spirit. The spiritual, concerning as it does eternal verities regarding Man's ultimate nature, is often contrasted with the temporal or the worldly. The central defining characteristic of spirituality is a sense of connection to a much greater whole which includes an emotional experience of religious awe and reverence. As with some forms of religion, the emphasis of spirituality is often on personal experience. It may be an expression for life perceived as higher, more complex or more integrated with one's worldview, as contrasted with the merely sensual.
An important distinction needs to be made between spirituality in religion and spirituality as opposed to religion.
In recent years, spirituality in religion often carries connotations of the believer's faith being more personal, less dogmatic, more open to new ideas and myriad influences, and more pluralistic than the faiths of established religions. It also can connote the nature of a believer's personal relationship or "connection" with their god or belief system, as opposed to the general relationship with the Deity understood to be shared by all members of that faith.
Those who speak of spirituality as opposed to religion generally believe that there are many "spiritual paths" and that there is no objective truth about which is the best path to follow. Rather, adherents of this definition of the term emphasize the importance of finding one's own path to whatever-god-there-is, rather than following what others say works. The best way to describe this view is: the path which makes the most sense is the correct one (for oneself). Many adherents of orthodox religions who consider spirituality to be an aspect of their religious experience are more likely to contrast spirituality with secular "worldliness" than with the ritual expression of their religion.
Others of a more New Age disposition hold that spirituality is not religion, per se, but the active and vital connection to a force, spirit, or sense of the deep self. As cultural historian and yogi William Irwin Thompson put it, "Religion is not identical with spirituality; rather religion is the form spirituality takes in civilization." (1981, 31)

What propels you to plant a bomb!!!

Last week, there was violence in Mumbai. bomb blasts - seven of them! This Monday, the Naxalites in Chhattisgarh had struck again in the Dantewada belt. Israel is raining fire on Lebanon - My God! The list is endless. Death is becoming the most easily available commodity in today's world. The precious human life is becoming cheaper and cheaper each day. Nobody is ready to listen to the other. It is not that suddenly the violence has erupted out of nowhere. Since the time immemorial, life has always been a struggle and that has happened primarily because we have listened to the call of our instincts. In case of people, who have tried to stand up against these traits, such men have become immortal - be it a Buddha or a Jesus or anybody else.

Importance of dying as a man

Recently, we read that the 57-year-old chief of Flextronics Software, Arun Kumar, passed away while on a trip to America. There were shock waves all around. People could pay tributes to him at online web sites. There were a quite a few people, who knew about him and his work, who paid rich tributes to that man. This event made me remember one line that our Hon. President, Dr. Abdul Kalam had once said: “How do you want the World to remember you, when you are not there any more?” In the Mahabharata, Vyaasa talks of an event, when all the five Pandavas, while in exile and wandering in the forest, were passing through a certain place which was haunted by a spirit. They were all thirsty and one by one, from Sahadev onwards, whoever drank water from the lake without answering the spirit’s queries, fainted. Till, at last, Yudhishthira himself came in search of water and found all his four brothers lying on the ground. Not realising what had happened to them, he also stepped in to the lake and he heard the spirit’s voice which dared him to drink the water before answering his questions. He was a patient man. So he started answering the questions. There were almost 127 questions that he asked and which Yudhishthira had answered beautifully, all compiled under the category called – Yaksh Prashna. In one of the questions, the spirit asks – what is the greatest surprise in this world? “That in this mortal world, every human being behaves as if he is immortal and will never die,” said Yudhishthira. This is probably the essence of all spiritualism. In its absence, I’m totally defenceless. I cannot defend and justify my actions. In such a situation, whatever responses are triggered, they almost symbolise the essence of that personality. Continued in comments......