Amusing Incidents in US - Part 2

How smoke detector became my villain?

I would like to boast myself that I'm a good cook. Don't give a look. I'm telling serious. One fine Sunday, I was cooking sambar , rasam and potato curry (That day something struck my mind and said, "Sajith, you can do it", that's why I touched the cooking utensils. Otherwise who cares!). Here the hotel rooms are closed completely and the windows cannot be fully opened and smoke detectors are placed to detect any smoke, so that fire accidents can be avoided. Coolers/ heaters are in the room which can be used to control the temperature. Why I'm saying all this? Got puzzled? Adding pepper and salt to get more flavor. Hope you would able to predict something I guess!

Finished cooking sambar and was about to cook rasam. Poured oil into the vessel and the vessel became so hot which I didn't notice. When I added garlic and mustard seeds, a thick smoke came out from the pan, as if coming out from steam engine, and within minutes I started to hear siren coming from fire engine. For a couple of minutes I was wondering what the heck happened and has any police arrived to hotel? Suddenly I realized that it is coming out from the smoke detector in my room. Oh man! You know, I started to sweat like a pig and didn't know what to do?

The smoke detector is in the roof above the bed, so tried to wave my hands off to clear the smoke. Ran length of the room and tried to open window couldn't open. Tried to keep the door but was worried coz i don't want the next door person to give a stare look on me. Suddenly an idea struck me, did kept the coolers to the coldest temperature. Switched on the TV and kept in high volume to suppress this sound. All done still this alarm is wailing. So I prepared myself by saying, "Sajith, this is your worst day prepare yourself and don't worry man whoever comes and questions you or throws you out of the hotel. Don't worry this is not the end of world. You will definitely find a way to come out of it. You have friends who can make you stay in their rooms". So many thinking went through and I switched off the burner everything and poured water on it to look as if i wasn't cooking at all and all the utensils went into the kitchen cabinet and nothing was outside and I was whistling a Tamil song which encourages how to face any situation but still horror in my face was clearly visible when I checked the mirror in the bath room.

Bit curious to know what happened? This siren went for fifteen minutes and no one turned up and I rang up my colleague and told up this incident and asked him why the hotel authorities didn't turn up?

He said, this is quite usual man, since there were lots of Indians used to stay in that hotel. They know that some Indian is doing cooking. Ha ha!

Finally I relaxed myself and laughed thinking about my genius work!

THE END

Cast: Hero - Me, Main Villain - Smoke Detector, Villain1 - Rasam, Special Appearance – Cooler

To know about smoke detector take a look here.
Smoke Detector

Amusing incidents in US! Part 1.

I would like to share a couple of incidents I came across in US.

1. How a name can be killed by Indian?

One of my friends was working in a call center job and he got a call from american lady. This guy is new to US and doesn't have got much acquianted with the American names. He was actually sitting on another person's seat and the call was for him. Following is the conversation
Customer : Hello I'm Bonnie here, can I talk to Ramesh?
Hero: Hi Vaani, Ramesh is not available in his seat right now. Would you to leave a message?
Customer : Thanks, Tell him that Bonnie called and ask him to give a call once he comes.
Hero : Thanks Vaani, I'll definitely pass on the message.

Once Ramesh comes, this guy, our hero tells him, "Hei Ramesh, Vaani called you and asked you to call her back". "I dont know anyone by that name, are you serious? Now our hero starts to realise things that somewhere he has done wrong. After a couple of minutes of racking his brains , "Yeah she sounded american, could I be wrong?" Ramesh searches all his contact list and finally comes to know that it was Bonnie who called up and laughed seeing our poor chap's mistaken identity!

How a name can be killed by American ?

My name is Sajith. Here in America J is silent. So think of the tortures, one has to go through.
X : Hello! am I talking to SAHITH ..( Mummy! the name which you fondly put is dying ma.)
X : Hello! am I talkin to SAAAAHI... (looks like he got a old tape recorder winding dead slow, will you stop it grrr.)
X : Hello! Can I talk to Saith ( Yeah you are talking to Saithan kee Bacha (devil's son) only.. Man stop it, I'm really pissed off).
X : Hello! Can I talk to SAHI ( Yeah you are talking to Mr. Right C'mon man don't make my day worser)

Corporate Jokes.

This happened in real life.

My friend was a consultant and happened to be there at the customer site when the project go live was happening. As a part of sign off process he asked the Director of finance on how the project is going and how the product addresses their requirements.
For this Director told "Well my friend X, My COO asked me why we have not chosen this wonderful product even though it was in the market for more than 1o years". My friend 'X' got excited and told it is such a nice product and it has got lots and lots of features but i dont know why you didnt came across earlier. Can you tell me, what best feature in the product has impressed you?

Well,when we used our earlier product we used to get a turnaround of 30million but now it has gone 300 million. Can you ask someone to look into this issue and resolve this issue asap and get your ass out of this place immediately and dont waste my time and energy!!

My friend got totally stunned with this reply. Happy moment became a most embarassing moment in his life. Still laughs when he thinks about that.

Never Smoke near your house!!

Story told by my friend :
He is a chain smoker and used to go to pettyshops to smoke. Once he smokes the smell should not come so he will get a betelnut or chewing gum to avoid being a suspect( Every dick and harry in town does that, just added little spice here). He is so frequent to these petty shops that once the shopkeeper sees his face automatically keeps one Wills flake and a betelnut.
Everything was going usual until one day his dad came along with him to this petty shop to get a betelnut and leaf. On seeing his face the shop owner automatically keeps the cigar. To his embarassment he could not tell the shop owner to hide the cigar.
His dad is a very stubborn guy and he still fears him a lot. It was such a moment he could not think what he has to do. Dad becomes suspicious on seeing this and asks him why the shop owner has kept the cigar on seein him. This guy feels that the world is goin to get over.

Continued in comments....

M.A.

One of my friends got degree in both Tamil and English. I was just boasting this to my friends that see how determined that guy was to get a degree in languages and was explaining about his temperament to achieve such distinction. While we were seriously discussing about this one of my friend told me that he too got such a degree. We were all perplexed as we had heard that the guy did his graduation in some other stream (Commerce).

Then one of my friends asked "Buddy! then you were supposed to have become a lecture in some college. Why you came into the IT field and making our lives miserable".

For that he replied "Did I say that I did graduation, my friends called me fondly M.A M.A (In tamil which means UNCLE) which is also a distinction right". After saying this he giggled.

We are still searching for that guy as he escaped from the clutches of our hands after this scene.

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.

Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), The Critic as Artist, 1891

Jokes for the day!!!.Continued...

Porch
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs forher to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that thepaint and other materials that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the wayaround the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered,"and had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, It's a Ferrari."

Jokes for the day!!!.

A Scottsman, a Chinaman, a Pom and an Aussie were in the pub debating whose country was the best.
The Scottsman reckoned his was the best, because we got the greenest grass.
The Pom reckoned his was the best because they had the most beautiful flag.
The Chinaman reckoned his was the best because of their Great Wall.
The Aussie said we're the best, 'cos we got the kangaroo, and that can jump over your great wall, crap on your grass and wipe it's ass with your flag!

BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbour came out of
the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mailbox and again opened it, slammed
it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn back she came out again, marched to the mail box,
opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying',
"YOU'VE GOT MAIL."