Loving with open mind

Loving kindness is a meditation practice that was taught by the Buddha to help us develop the habit of selfless or altruistic love. It is a truly universal practice which need not be associated with any particular religious concept. Loving With Open Mind

Why Men Doesn't Cry!

There are many unsolved mysteries in the world. At times, we don't even look further into the why's and how's of the simplest things in life or even things around us? Every human being on this planet has entered this world in order to solve atleast a handful of these mysteries. Like everyone else, my friend wanted to probe into something as simple as why men hardly ever cry? Do they ever cry? Are they stone hearted? Or is there something scientific?

We had lot of speculation and debates about men crying. Finally we found out that the men cried when they watched movies like Gladiator and Lion King! But on a serious note, men do cry and yeah, they do cry for 'real' reasons.

The idea of men crying may be look like a total turn off for most women. No woman could really appreciate her man crying for every reason she cries. But if she sees her man crying for a real reason like "when she is leavin him alone". It will definitely have a deeper impact in her. However, here comes the stereotyped notion of women who can't stand the thought that men cry at the drop of the hat.

Why this is happening?

Society has forced a deep impact in influencing the gender roles played by men and women. Girls are allowed to cry but boys are restricted from revealing their emotions.
In most cultures, it is more socially acceptable for women to cry in public than men, but this is certainly not true for all human cultures.

Most men have cried but away from the public view. Men feel that like picking one's nose in private, crying is also an extremely personal affair. Men in general have cried at the loss of a loved one, leaving your loved ones and moving to a different country, loss of job & the death of a loved one. Like the certain inevitable truths in life, the reasons for shedding a tear are justified and it no longer remains a taboo if a guy cries for the right reasons in public.

Final advice to men: After reading this don't use this as a weapon to emotionally wreck women. Once the woman finds this, then the relation is doomed, no need to say!

Young Entrepreneurs of Rising India!

When Thomas L. Friedman told that The World is Flat. I was wondered what made him to say that. I was overjoyed when the inspiration for that statement and to write a book on that, came from our own Mr.Nilekani. When he told that "the playing ground is being leveled". I said to myself, Indians are making waves in the world!

Hei! Do you know that there are many more Ambanis and Narayana Murthys, who are making waves and the interesting point to be noted is that they are younger than me. So thought of posting a blog about them coz they made me feel very humble as well as pride that they are Indian! They are infact really drawing a great inspiration to me. Hope you too will have a similar kind of experience!

1. Sarath Babu of Food King
2. Suhas Gopinath of Globals Inc.

After going through the above weblinks, I somehow got hooked to the monitor searched for more such persons. When I was searching for them, I stumbled upon a nice blog specifically written to show the world, about these guys who are creating waves. Hats off to the author, who is doing a wonderful job of spreading light. Entrepreneurs

Radical Thinking: What You Can Learn From the Timeless Philosophy of Socrates

During his lifetime Socrates wrote nothing down. Yet his wisdom has formed the bedrock of western philosophy. Socrates was viewed as a great teacher. But he did not claim to be a teacher. In fact, he frequently said ‘all I know is that I know nothing’. By all accounts Socrates was both poor and ugly. Yet in a society that placed tremendous value on beauty and wealth, people of all classes were magnetically drawn to his teachings and enigmatic personality.As he wrote nothing down, there is some dispute about what Socrates actually said. But, from the writings of Plato and others, we can gain a few glimpses into the character and ideals of this ancient sage and unique philosopher.

The Socratic Dialogue
Perhaps the most arresting feature of Socrates’ legacy is his unique method of teaching and arriving at the truth. Socrates didn’t claim the truth is this or the truth is that. He sought to question students in a way that would lead them to arrive at the truth themselves. Socrates frequently claimed to know nothing. Yet, if Socrates knew nothing, why were people so eager to hear him talk? The reason was that Socrates was able to make people reconsider their own ingrained ideas; Socrates had a way of making people think for themselves and consider truth from different angles.This method of conversation incurred the ire of some people; they were not happy that Socrates was able to show the limitations of their thinking. Yet, the genius of the Socratic method was that he never had to directly tell people their inadequacies; they came to realise it themselves.

Independence of Thought
One of Socrates most admired traits was that he did not follow popular opinion. He questioned every orthodox belief and decided independently if it was worth pursuing. Socrates looked at issues from both perspectives; he did not allow himself to be tied down by religious, political, or social conventions.This independence of thought and mind was particularly powerful given the forces of conformity predominant in Greek society. The importance he placed on independence of thought can be seen by his response to his trial and death. Socrates had numerous opportunities to flee; however, he didn’t wish to flee — he felt that escape would weaken his philosophic independence.Socrates was also non dogmatic; he had friends with both Oligarchs and Democrats. At the same time, he had enemies in both parties; Socrates would never moderate his words to curry favour with others.

Interest in the Welfare of Others
Socrates spent most of his time wandering the streets of Athens, talking with people interested in discovering more about life. Socrates was a great teacher, because ironically he didn’t have an agenda to teach. He was not interested in imparting a certain dogma or attracting followers. He wanted people to think for themselves and consider the real nature of life and truth. As Socrates said to one student.”If you take my advice, you will give but little thought to Socrates but much more to the truth.” [1]Socrates was not just a great talker, but also a great listener. It is this balance which set him apart from ordinary teachers who want only to lecture others.

Fear Not Death“‘The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows”- Socrates [2]The authorities felt threatened by the popularity and independent nature of Socrates and sought to have him silenced. The result was a travesty of justice; however, Socrates was able to meet his death with an enviable equanimity. Not only did Socrates maintain a philosophic calm, he also bore little anger or ill feeling to his judges who had unjustly tried him. He magnanimously said:”I am not angry with my accusers, or my condemners; they have done me no harm, although neither of them meant to do me any good; and for this I may gently blame them.” [3]It is easy for a philosopher to talk about the unreality of death, but the real test is how we respond when faced with it ourselves. The equanimity of Socrates suggests he lived the ideals he spoke of.

Self Control
Socrates once visited a palm reader. The palm reader looked at his hands and said to him: “so many undivine qualities you have: anger, pride, lust…”. His followers were furious — how could she say this about the great saint, Socrates?Socrates replied, “Wait, let us see whether she has anything else to say.” The palm reader continued, “Yes, he has these qualities, but, he also has them under his complete control.” Like all people, Socrates had negative emotions and qualities but he was able to prevent them from controlling him.

Tolerance of Others
Socrates married Xanthippe, who was renowned for her irritating behaviour and quick temper. Socrates didn’t get upset about his wife’s negative qualities. Instead he saw it as an opportunity to develop tolerance, patience and humility. Socrates even made a joke of it saying, “As I intended to associate with all kinds of people, I thought nothing they could do would disturb me, once I had accustomed myself to bear the disposition of Xanthippe.” [4]

Outer Appearances Do Not Matter
It is said even by his admirers that Socrates was ugly. Reports suggest he was short, fat, and had a big nose. Yet, despite his unflattering looks, many eagerly sought his company for his wisdom, counsel and inspirational views on life. Despite an ugly outer countenance people saw in Socrates an inner beauty. As the aristocratic military genius Alcibiades said of Socrates “His nature is so beautiful, golden, divine.”Socrates paid little attention to outer form. This doesn’t mean he could not appreciate beauty; however, as a true philosopher, it was his duty to see beyond the outer form.

Know Thyself
It is said that Socrates once visited the oracle of Delphi, where he was told the most important task in his life was to know his real self. To know the real self is perhaps the ultimate goal of philosophy. If we don’t know who we are, how can we solve the mysteries of life and help other people?For Socrates knowing thyself was more than a mere intellectual quest. It was an idea that shaped his life and inner attitude. He was never satisfied with accepting outer appearances and conventional wisdom, but always strove for a deeper understanding of his real Self.Above all, Socrates taught us not accept our existing thoughts as true. Step back and reevaluate the truth and veracity of your opinions and beliefs. Seek to know your real self and seek truth. It is a lofty philosophy, but one that has retained an enduring appeal and fascination through the ages.

Tejvan Pettinger is a member of the Sri Chinmoy Meditation Centre. He lives in Oxford where he works as a teacher. He also offers mediation classes as a community service and updates a blog at Sri Chinmoy Inspiration a collection of articles on meditation and self improvement.

An interesting reflection. :Slow Down Culture

From an Indian in Sweden:
It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalized processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to possess a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in another words:
1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.
2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.
4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned
companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%.This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!”

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit. In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalized world.

Simple Pleasures to brighten your day!

A little trick I like to use to make my days much more pleasant is to find little, simple pleasures and sprinkle them throughout my day.
They’re not big things, but they each simple pleasure can translate to a great day if you use them right.
So in the morning, I might have a cup of coffee, and sip it slowly to enjoy it fully. I might read a gripping novel, and revel in the world of fiction. I might watch the sun come up, and marvel at the world.
For breakfast, I love eating hot dosas very slowly. I savor each one, closing my eyes. In the shower, I might also close my eyes, and just let the cool water run over me (I live on a tropical island, so cool water is a nice thing).
You get the idea — these are little things, and don’t really cost a thing (or not much, anyway), but they are tremendously satisfying. I’ve just described some of the things I might do to start off my day, but the possibilities are endless, and can be done throughout the day.
I thought it would be fun to compile a list of simple pleasures, to give you all some ideas of what I mean, and to spark other ideas of your own. Of course, you can probably come up with a thousand more, and it should also be noted that one person’s pleasures aren’t always pleasures for others.

1. Dosas.
2. Walking barefoot in grass.
3. Listening to good music in the car or while riding bike.
4. Taking a long, relaxing shower.
5. Coffee.
6. A good novel.
7. Popcorn and an old movie on DVD.
8. The smell of fresh-cut grass.
9. Watching the sunrise.
10. Walking on the beach.
11. A gentle morning run.
12. Yoga or stretching or meditation.
13. Watching the sunset.
14. Hugging a child tightly.
15. Good orange juice.
16. Dark chocolate.
17. Telling jokes till your sides ache.
18. A long conversation with a good friend.
19. Being lazy on a Sunday.
20. Waking to a clean house.
21. An uncluttered room.
22. Fries and a chocolate milkshake.
23. Watching a child play.
24. Fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies from coffee day.
25. Helping someone in need.
26. Making someone smile.
27. Cooking a dish for your family.
28. A nature hike.
29. Laying back and watching the stars.
30. Making a sandcastle.
31. Floating in the watertub.
32. Taking an afternoon nap.
33. Laying back and looking up at clouds.
34. Watching the ocean.
35. Getting a massage. This I do when I cut my hair.
36. Seeing your savings account grow.
37. Seeing your debt shrink.
38. Taking a hot bath.
39. Blowing bubbles.
40. A gentle breeze.
41. Playing a good game of badminton.
42. The smell of a new notebook.
43. Swinging on a swing.
44. Writing on good paper with a good pen.
45. A clear desk.
46. Fresh popped popcorn.
47. Having a picnic.
48. Homemade Biriyani.
49. Watching animals in nature.
50. Drenching in Rain and stomping the puddles.
51. An empty email inbox.
52. A fresh snow.
53. Watching a good game of cricket.
54. Dancing like you’re crazy.
55. Pillow fights with children.
56. The feeling after a good workout.
57. Checking something off your to-do list.
58. Banana split.
59. Iced green tea.
60. Watching children burst crackers on diwali time.
61. Cadbury’s chocolate.
62. Sweets distributed during birthdays.
63. Chatting nonsensical or about inventing something with a friend.
64. Writing a mail on how much you felt today to your best friend.
65. Getting scolding from parents and acting as if nothing went in your ears.

How affectionate you are!

As the pace and fullness of modern life serve to isolate us from one another, the contact we do share becomes vastly more significant. We unconsciously absorb each other's energy, adopting the temperament of those with whom we share close quarters, and find ourselves changed after the briefest encounters. Everything we do or say has the potential to affect not only the individuals we live, work, and play with but also those we've just met. Though we may never know the impact we have had or the scope of our influence, accepting and understanding that our attitudes and choices will affect others can help us remember to conduct ourselves with grace at all times. When we seek always to be friendly, helpful, and responsive, we effortlessly create an atmosphere around ourselves that is both uplifting and inspiring.

Most people rarely give thought to the effect they have had or will have on others. When we take a few moments to contemplate how our individual modes of being affect the people we spend time with each day, we come one step closer to seeing ourselves through the eyes of others. By asking ourselves whether those we encounter walk away feeling appreciated, respected, and liked, we can heighten our awareness of the effect we ultimately have. Something as simple as a smile given freely can temporarily brighten a person's entire world. Our value-driven conduct may inspire others to consider whether their own lives are reflective of their values. A word of advice can help others see life in an entirely new fashion. And small gestures of kindness can even prove to those embittered by the world that goodness still exists. By simply being ourselves, we influence other's lives in both subtle and life-altering ways.

To ensure that the effect we have is positive, we must strive to stay true to ourselves while realizing that it is the demeanor we project and not the quality of our wondrous inner landscapes that people see. Thus, as we interact with others, how we behave can be as important as who we are. If we project our passion for life, our warmth, and our tolerance in our facial features, voice, and choice of words, every person who enters our circle of influence will leave our presence feeling at peace with themselves and with us. You never know whose life you are affecting, big or small. Try to remember this as you go out into the world each day.

Beautiful Mail which I came across.

George Carlin, comedian of the 70s and 80s whose wife recently passed away, wrote the following eloquent and appropriate piece on our times:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge , but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the
showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to your loved ones....Who cares?

George Carlin

Creative thinking!

People are running wild in their imaginations sometimes and ofcourse me too! Almost everyday I run into the wildest dreams or imaginations which any normal guy would not even thinked about.

Sometimes I make pretty assumptions on those imaginations and arrive at a conclusion.

When it comes to personal affairs, everyday people make a lot of assumptions and ask questions indirectly to the other person, in order to save their face. Sometimes it will be funny and sometimes it will be hurting.

Making assumptions, as far in my opinion, it is not that very good in the personal front but when you are thinking creatively to invent something, making assumption is the first step. Wright Brothers wouldn't have build an aeroplane, had they not went by assumptions.

When I was attending training in the earlier years of office life, the training manager told us the following at the end of training as a bottomline. "Dont make assumptions, coz what you are trying to do is 'Making an "ASS" out of "U" and "ME"'" but now I wanted to say back to him that his theory is applicable only for personal life and cannot be applied altogether. After all theories are meant to be disproved.

Infact making assumption is even considered as one of the important techniques for creativity. Check this site - Assumption Surfacing

In fact our education system lacks creative thinking and we dont encourage people who invents something new or spending time on trying to invent. We stress on memorising whatever that is available in book without even asking a question of when, where ,how. Whereas the education system in US makes a child to think creatively starting earlier from his kindergarten and thats why the culture in US is being followed everywhere. Now the kerala govt has adopted to bring this strategy little bit but I'm not sure how far this is going to become successful.

I'm not blaming because we have got really great people in advanced science field given the chance like in foreign countries. This should change because they are working under foreigners turning their imaginations into reality.

Just have a look on this site :
Creative thinking

Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts.
Clare Booth Luce (1903 - 1987)

A Letter from Mumbai...

Dear Terrorist,
Even if you are not reading this we don't care. Time and again you tried to disturb us and disrupt our life - killing innocent civilians by planting bombs in trains, buses and cars. You have tried hard to bring death and destruction, cause panic and fear and create communal disharmony but everytime you were disgustingly unsuccessful. Do you know how we passour life in Mumbai? How much it takes for us to earn that single rupee? If you wanted to give us a shock then we are sorry to say that you failed miserably in your ulterior motives. Better look elsewere, not here. We are not Hindus and Muslims or Gujaratis and Marathis or Punjabis and Bengaliies. Nor do we distinguish ourselves as owners or workers, govt. employees or private employees. WE ARE MUMBAIKERS (Bombay-ites, if you like). We will not allow you to disrupt our life like this. On the last few occassions when you struck (including the 7 deadly blasts in a single day killing over 250 people and injuring 500+ in 1993), we went to work next day in full strength. This time we cleared everything within a few hours and were back to normal - the vendors placing their next order, businessmen finalizing the next deals and the office workers rushing to catch the next train. (Yes the same train you targetted) Fathom this: Within 3 hours of the blasts, long queues of blood donating volunteers were seen outside various hospital, where most of the injured were admitted. By 12 midnight,the hospital had to issue a notification that blood banks were full and they didn't require any more blood. The next day, attendance at schools and office was close to 100%, trains & buses were packed to the brim, the crowds were back. The city has simply dusted itself off and moved one - perhaps with greater vigour. We are Mumbaikers and we live like brothers in times like this. So, do not dare to threaten us with your crackers. The spirit of Mumbai is very strong and can not be harmed. Please forward this to others. U never know, by chance it may come to hands of a terrorist in Afghanistan, Pakistan or Iraq and he can then read this message which is specially meant for him!!! With Love,From the people of Mumbai (Bombay)